


All Wasn't Right

by Saturnbear



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Flowers, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Im slowly making this fluffier because y'all deserve it, Insomniac Janus Sanders, It's his real name!!, Janus is pining but we all knew that, Kind of??? They won't get together for a while but they're still very much in love, M/M, Mentions of Jekyll and Hyde, Post svs2, Sad roceit stans come get yalls juice, Slow Burn, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, The tags don't do it justice just read the fic, because i love them, both the book and the musical
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23962216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturnbear/pseuds/Saturnbear
Summary: After the events of Selfishness vs. Selflessness Redux, Janus is left to think about how things went with Roman. And soon enough, he decides to do something about it.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 65
Kudos: 271





	1. What if I'm down?

**Author's Note:**

> I would die for Janus Sanders and my roceit shipping heart is SAD so I wrote this to cope, hope you enjoy!!

The days following the discussion Janus had with Thomas felt different. No one had seen Virgil or Roman, and Janus slowly let himself spend more time with Patton in the mindscape. The company was nice, he had to admit. Yet, Janus still couldn't truly relax.

After Janus had first risen back into his room, excitement tingled across his skin. Still riding the euphoria of Thomas finally admitting he was _right_ , he let himself fall across his couch, clutching one of the throw pillows. There he lay on his back, eyes staring at the ceiling and a dumb grin painted on his face. Though, unwillingly, he knew the joy couldn't last. Sure enough, within minutes his memories had fallen back on Roman. 

_Roman._

Roman, who he'd wanted so badly to impress. To please. To flatter. Roman, the one man who Janus had deemed worthy of his vulnerability. Roman, that man that Janus could be honest with. The man Janus loved.

Just goes to show vulnerability only gets you so far. 

The anger that laced Roman's scathing arguments and remarks stuck in Janus's ears. He had let down his shields this once, for Roman. And he was repaid in Roman recoiling at his words, at the few truths he was willing to give. He was left stewing in feelings of betrayal, a situation he would have once deemed unrealistic for himself. 

As the minutes passed and his thoughts focused more and more on Roman, he was left with an intense guilt. He had known beforehand Roman's insecurity regarding his brother, and it was the first thing he launched at when provoked, like a scared rattlesnake. The look of hurt on Roman's face had quickly turned Janus's momentary satisfaction to regret. Another moment to add to his large pile of regrets, how wonderful.

~~~~~~

Janus lay awake at midnight, running his fingers around the rim of his hat, which sat atop his chest. He knew something had to be done to allow his newfound restlessness to subside. He stood from the couch, placing his hat on the couch's armrest.

Dim moonlight streamed through the window, blinds slicing it into thin lines. Janus admired the way it sparkled against the vase atop the kitchen counter. Slowly, he walked up to it, appreciating the flowers more closely. A bundle of yellow tulips was cradled in the vase. Janus carefully removed one, admiring it. He glanced across the counter to a long untouched notepad, and tore a page off. He scanned the room for a pen, ultimately deciding to simply conjure one. 

_Sorry. -J_ , the note read.

Janus held the note, pulled a tulip from the vase, and sunk out.

Roman's room was messy, so appearing without stepping on something was a minor issue. Thankfully, Roman lay sound asleep on the couch beside him, snoring peacefully. Janus cautiously stepped aside the clothes and piles of playbills strewn across the floor and stood in the small kitchen. He set the note on the counter, resting the tulip on top of it.

Looking out across Roman's room, he took notice of the fact everything in it almost glowed, even at night. He looked over at Roman, curled up against his pillow and sleeping soundly. If all was right in the world Janus would have no fear walking over and sitting himself beside him, able to card his fingers through Roman's hair. He could rest right alongside the man. Sitting so close to him, Janus could admire how the thin lines of moonlight streaming in from the window shone across his face. He could lean over and press a kiss against Roman's knotted hair, and allow the new stress in his life to dissolve away.

But yet, as always, all wasn't right with the world. Janus was left standing in Roman's kitchen, only capable of admiring from afar. Just seeing Roman helped settle that restless bit within him. With a long breath, Janus sunk out, and back into his own room.

~~~~~~

Several days later, Janus awoke one morning. The buzzing alarm on the table beside Janus beckoned him out of bed, and he soon enough shuffled beside his window. The sunlight beamed through the blinds, and he pulled them to the side, allowing the warm light to cover the space. As he turned back to his room, a change in the color scheme caught his eye. He stepped towards where it sat, on the kitchen counter. On the counter sat a fresh red rose and a piece of parchment with a handwritten note etched into it.

_I'm sorry too. -R_


	2. Stuck in Reverse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A feeling of restlessness leads Janus to try and further his conversation with Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did this standalone one shot NEED a second chapter?? Absolutely not. And I wrote it anyways. enjoy some hurt/comfort yall

It had been one week since Janus had received Roman's note. The rose now held a place in Janus's vase. Its warm red hue stood out among the soft yellow tulips like a drop of blood. He'd often look back at the vase, and everytime he did a fresh sense of restlessness sparked within him. The feeling was far too reminiscent of the drive that led to the note exchange in the first place. Ignoring it seemed the best option.

~~~~~~

Today had been uneventful, for the most part. Janus had started a friendly conversation with Patton earlier, and got the chance to remind Thomas to take some leisure time. Truthfully, it looked like another mildly successful day. And despite it all, Janus was once more left lying awake.

Near-sleepless nights were becoming a concerning normal in Janus's schedule. The last time he could recall getting a decent rest was the night before he found Roman's note.

_Roman._

Shit.

Janus had tried to keep his thoughts off the man for days, even if he'd accepted it wasn't working. Thinking about Roman fed the restlessness, but avoiding it took energy. Weighing his options between another night spent ignoring his thoughts and the idea of finally approaching them, a middle ground was found. He cautiously allowed himself to remember a few events from the last week. 

He remembered how he felt as Roman continuously argued against him. He remembered the rim of his hat against his finger tips. The moonlight reflecting off the vase. His pen sliding easily across the paper. The feeling of the thick, smooth card Roman had left in his hands. 

Janus pushed himself to sit up in bed. Sleeping clearly wasn't an option. He sighed, looking over to the parchment on the bedside table.

 _I'm sorry too. -R_ , it read.

Janus shifted the sheets off of himself and climbed out of bed, picking up the note. Rubbing his thumb against the paper, he took notice of how expensive it felt. It seemed just like Roman to use such a nice paper for a casual gesture, he thought.

While holding the card, he wondered why the message didn't feel like the end of a conversation. By all assumptions, this should be the end of their exchange. An apology from both sides, and then they move the hell along with their separate lives. Yet Janus still had a feeling of emptiness. The creeping restlessness that hadn't let him sleep. He knew something had to be done. He wasn't sure what, but connecting with Roman in any way he could was the goal.

He set the note down carefully, as if it could shatter. Stepping down the stairs, he wondered how to go about speaking to Roman. His hand gliding off of the handrail, he stepped once more into his workspace. The thin lines of moonlight stretching across the room had become all too familiar to Janus recently. The colors of the room had all faded to shades of blue and gray in the limited lighting, but the rose still stood out against the other flowers in the vase.

 _Flowers_ , Janus thought. Flowers had worked in the last exchange. He admitted he wasn't entirely sure how to connect with Roman, but figured they would be his best shot.

Within the next few minutes he'd conjured a small bouquet he deemed ‘good enough.’ A handful of gardenias, interlaced with yellow hyacinth. Janus deemed it a bit bright for his personal taste, hoping it would fit Roman's a bit more. 

~~~~~~

The second time appearing in Roman's room was less jarring. He rose up into the kitchen in the first place, as to avoid the tall task of traversing Roman's endlessly cluttered floors. Setting the bouquet down, Janus sighed. This, much like lines of moonlight and sleepless nights, felt familiar. However, this brought him more peace than the previous nights had. He looked up to the couch, and specifically Roman. The side looked to have fallen asleep mid-work, as papers and random objects were scattered across the area. A book sat open, loosely held in his hands. Janus was once again, left admiring him from afar. Even in sleep, with his hair tousled and shoulders slumped, Roman held his regal aura.

Looking back down at the bouquet, a sense of worry creeped up. A concern that Roman would overlook the gift, or rather overlook Janus. That Roman would see any advancement in their conversation unnecessary.

Janus took the concern and tried his best to accept it as an inevitable truth. Couldn't be disappointed if you don't hope for anything, after all. With one last fond look at Roman, Janus sunk out.

~~~~~~

This particular night was spent staring at the ceiling, an interesting shake up in Janus's usual night time schedule of staring at the wall. He studied the shadows that grew out of corners, and the cracks along the paint. Eventually he had closed his eyes, hoping to bore himself into sleep. All this really accomplished was leading Janus's attention to be easily captured by a noise downstairs. A crinkling sound, possibly plastic.

Noises seemed a justified enough excuse to leave his bedroom, Janus concluded. He briefly acknowledged that he would take just about any excuse at this point. 

He took caution in stepping down the stairs, gaze spanning across the dimly lit room. A shape in the kitchen looming over the counter caught his eye. 

_Roman._

Roman stood there holding a bouquet, shoulders slumped, a pitiful look on his face dimly illuminated. Janus took a breath.

"May I question as to why you're here?" He asked. Roman's eyes shot up. 

_"Shit-"_ Roman breathed.

"So," Janus started, looking to the bouquet. "I take it you received my gesture?"

Roman looked up at him, exhaustion clouding his gaze. "Don't…" He sighed. "Don't bother to flatter me. Please." Janus was surprised to see him in such a state. He took a couple steps towards the kitchen, studying the creative side's solemn expression. 

"Are you okay, Roman?"

_"Please don't."_

Janus stopped moving forward, taken aback by Roman's pained tone of voice.

"I just," Roman continued, setting the flowers down. "It's easier if you hate me, alright?"

Janus chuckled. "Because I clearly apologized out of hatred."

"You- you don't get it." Roman stammered.

"I don't?"

"Well, you're _evil._ " He stated. "You're the- the bad guy." He waited for Janus's response, which he refused to give. Roman continued, looking down. "You're not supposed to win. I'm supposed to- I _do_ hate you." Janus took another step towards Roman.

"You can't lie to me, Roman." He responded.

"I'm not lying, I- I _hate_ you-" Janus took another step, now standing in the kitchen with the creative side.

"You don't hate me." Janus sighed. "We both know that perfectly well." 

Roman took a shaking breath and looked back up at Janus. Roman chuckled a half-hearted, pitiful laugh. "God, it'd all be so much easier if I did." And a sob broke loose. He grabbed at his own sleeves, holding his arms close as he trembled, sobbing.

Well fuck, Janus thought. Even after spending so long wishing to simply help Roman, comforting him hadn't been anything he'd envisioned. Shit, shit, how the fuck does someone handle this? How would Patton handle this shit? 

Janus took a breath to ground himself. He took a slow step forward, shifting his weight towards where the other side stood. With all the caution he could, he opened his arms slightly towards Roman. With a final step, Janus wrapped his arms around him, holding Roman as if he could break if handled any tighter. Roman leaned into Janus's arms, resting his crying head again his shoulder.

They would stand there, Roman sunken into Janus's arms, for what felt to them both like hours, despite mere minutes passing. Finally, as Roman's breathing steadied, the silence between them was broken.

"God," Roman breathed. "I'm sorry. I honestly am."

Janus held Roman ever so closer.

"I'm sorry too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! I didn't intend to follow the first chapter up at all but the response was so positive it compelled me to. If y'all enjoyed this one please let me know, I might just add onto this story some more if y'all want it! Huge thanks to my gf for beta reading this all lol


	3. It Could be Worse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Janus has some free time on his hands, and decides to quickly check in on Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've seen like zero fluff fics in the roceit tag lately?? Y'all okay?? Roceit stans can have a short little fluff chapter. As a treat.

Two weeks had passed since Janus had held and consoled a crying prince. 

The two hadn't truly talked since then, but Janus certainly didn't want to lose a possible new connection with Roman. So they resorted to what worked, notes. Every couple days or so either would wake up to a handwritten note or a simple flower resting atop their counter. It was a minor step forward, but Janus took it with ease.

Janus knew it wasn't wise. He knew it would likely fall apart, causing more pain on both sides. And despite this, he continued. He continued to leave small notes reminding Roman to take basic care of himself. He continued to place each note Roman had left him in a pile. He continued. And for the life of him, he didn't know why.

~~~~~~

Janus returned to his room halfway through the day. He stood in the living room, readjusting his hat mindlessly. Not much was happening in the mindscape. Thomas had gone off with Logan to discuss plans for the upcoming week, so everyone else was left to their own devices. It had been a couple days since he'd left Roman a note, he thought. That could give him a little something to do.

Thinking this over more closely, a flaw arose. The gifts and cards were only ever left in the late evening. Ever since Roman had left his bouquet, they'd never risked seeing the other awake. Perhaps it was out of fear, or perhaps not wishing to break the fragile connection they'd built. Whatever it was, Janus thought, he doubted leaving a quick message would be too much of a risk. Perhaps even a step forward. Or just maybe, he was simply hopeful. _Hopeful._ God, Roman must've begun to rub off on him.

Janus turned back to the kitchen counter, picking up the pen he'd left. The notepad now sat beside the vase, which had been filled earlier with lush roses. Letting the ink glide across the page, Janus wrote a rather standard message.

_Hope you're still doing well. -J_

And without much thought, he sunk out of his room.

~~~~~~

Rising into Roman's kitchen was no longer an odd occurrence. And yet still, every time it comforted Janus. The warmth that hung across the entire room was relaxing, and the clash of aesthetics and themes across the walls and furniture was cluttered, but charming.

Placing the note in the usual spot on the counter, he took a breath.

"Deceit?"

Janus's eyes shot up to the staircase, on which Roman stood, dressed in oversized wrinkled clothes and his shoulders tensed. He'd clearly been trying to sleep, and judging by the time of day, likely to little success. Janus slipped back into his composed demeanor, straightening his posture.

"No need to worry, Roman. I'm simply dropping a message off." 

Roman relaxed, eyes tired but appreciative.

"Yeah- yeah." He said, running a hand over his face and through his hair "Thank you, really."

"Anything for our prince." Janus joked, and Roman smiled. Janus could feel his traitorous heart flutter. Roman gave a small sigh, and turned to walk back up the stairs. Janus looked up at him. At his tired posture, and his tousled hair. It was odd, seeing the once powerful side this tired and worn down.

"Get some rest, Roman." He said, letting his voice soften.

The prince nodded, and shuffled back to his bedroom. Janus looked back down at the counter, and after a moment, sunk out.

Later that day Janus would think about the interaction. He'd think about Roman's tired and soft eyes, of his casual thanks, and of his smile. Call him foolish, but perhaps he _was_ hopeful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah thanks for reading!! I have plans for chapter 4 so hopefully it won't take as long to pump out. Also!! Chapter titles are now lyrics from the Lemon Demon song What Will Happen Will Happen because I felt like it. 
> 
> Comments are super appreciated, they really help keep me motivated!!


	4. What Can I Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Janus's life falls stagnant, Roman finds a way to shake it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise bitches!!! The fic isn't dead!!! Writers block went and took me out for a while, but at long last I finally have an idea of where I want this fic to go, so that's neat. Sorry for the wait rip

Janus had grown used to the near-sleepless nights. The cold air and faint light felt different, these weeks later. They had lost the sense of wonder they held. Laying across his couch before the sun rose, as the minutes ticked away wasn't a rare, ethereal event. It was routine. It was the closest thing Janus had to routine. The closest thing he had to comfort, outside of his work. 

And of course, outside of Roman.

~~~~~~

This night wasn't particularly special. Janus sat sprawled upon the couch, a copy of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in hand. He must've read it cover to cover a hundred times, and still, he returned. It was a rare thing Janus never seemed to get tired of. And on top of the fact that it was terribly on brand, it just seemed a fitting way to kill time.

As time trudged on, Janus lost more and more of his focus. The story lost cohesion in his mind, and although he read the words, he couldn't be bothered to process them. On certain nights, such as this one, the ability to focus seemed just far enough away to not bother reaching for it. Once Janus realized he hadn't fully processed a page in a long while, he closed the book and tossed it aside, not even bothering with a bookmark.

Janus could feel frustration edge at the corners of his ongoing boredom. For a while he just sat, mildly frustrated with himself, feeling like all the world had gone gray. Eventually he leaned his head back against the sofa, closing his eyes. Perhaps he could coax sleep out of boredom. It had never worked before, but it wasn't like he had much to do.

He let his breathing slow. He tried to wind his mind down, but it didn't take long to realize sleep wouldn't come. It hardly took a minute for thoughts to arrive in its place. Thoughts passed through Janus's head steadily, thoughts of what fractures of the story he could remember. Thoughts of cliches and other stories he enjoyed. Thoughts of stories he'd watched, and stories Thomas had watched. Thoughts of Thomas, and thoughts of previous nights. Thoughts of red roses in dusty vases.

He sighed.

~~~~~~

It had grown noticeably colder as time progressed. Time that was mostly spent thinking, never managing to sit in the same position for too long. It was dangerously bordering the line between mindless and infuriating. Janus shifted in place again, moving his gaze to the half closed blinds across the room. 

After such a long span of silence, the rustle behind him nearly shook the room. He snapped his head to the source, faster than he'd like to admit. One of many, many things he'd rather not admit.

"Deceit?" Roman chimed from the kitchen.

Janus responded by straightening his posture, and trying desperately to regain the composure of a well rested man.

"Roman." He said. "Is there something you need?"

This was an odd choice of words, and Janus could tell the moment they left his lips. Neither had ever come to the other with any vocalized necessity. The only thing they asked of each other was the comfort of quiet support, and that was a tradition too fragile to be spoken aloud. Still, you think less when the filter sleep provides is torn down. And so a simple script left Janus's lips without thought. 

"Oh- no. No." Roman answered, shaking his head slightly. He chuckled, the smallest smile returning to his face. It was more than enough to stop Janus's overthinking in its tracks.

"Merely stopping by, is all." Roman shrugged, a faint smirk visible. Janus took note of the Prince's demeanor. He could see right through the joyful facade, but only so far. To some real, true degree, Roman was happy. Perhaps not happy. Happiness was a luxury reserved for a time after he could get his shit together. But Roman was without a doubt hopeful. Janus couldn't quite pin down why that brought him a wave of relief.

"Well then, happy to have you stop by." Janus responded. He quickly realized how tensed up he was, and hastily loosened his shoulders. Roman nodded and set his "note" on the table, a delicate primrose. Roman looked down at the flower he had delivered, carefully grazing his thumb against a petal.

Silence hung in the air between the two sides. It wasn't unpleasant for either, of course it wasn't, but it left the conversation in a stalemate. Janus watched Roman, and found his mind had settled down for a mere moment. The overlapping current of thoughts had grown lazy, brought to rest by the air of comfort Roman had brought to the room with him.

After a few, lovely moments, Janus stood. Not mindlessly, and not meticulously. He stood, picking up the book he had tossed aside earlier. Turning, he faced towards Roman once again.

"Tell me, Roman."

"Hm?"

"Do you read much, anymore?" He asked, walking to the bookshelf closest to the kitchen.

"A bit!" Roman answered, looking away in thought but smiling all the same. "Only the classics, and all. I suppose I listen more than I read."

"That so?" Janus asked. "What all are you listening to?"

"What'd you'd expect. Musical scores, podcasts," he shrugged. "The likes."

"Anything specific?"

"I suppose I've been working a couple new musicals in... mainly _36 Questions_. Convinced Thomas to check it out a while back."

Janus nodded, shifting his attention down to the book in his hands for no other reason than looking at Roman could ruin the careful dance they had fallen into.

"Have you seen the musical?" Roman asked, nodding towards the book.

"Hm?"

"The- musical adaptation." He waved his hand in a gesture. "Older thing, it'd make sense if you hadn't-"

"No, I've seen it." Janus paused. "Once or twice."

"Well that can't do." Roman huffed. Janus raised an eyebrow.

"Well- I- I just think you'd enjoy it more! Even you have to see that, it's like it has your name written on it?"

Janus smirked, hearing Roman ramble.

"I suppose I can see where you're coming from, yes."

Roman's slight flush became a grin (giving Janus's traitorous heart another whirl).

"Well, then this lack of Jekyll and Hyde in your life is now a problem to be fixed..." Roman said. 

"Fixed? How so?"

"The clearest answer is to drag you into rewatching it, of course." He stated. Janus stared at him in an unreadable response. "That is- if you wish to and have the time, of course! I understand it's late and all, and I'd hate to-"

"No, no, no." Janus answered. "I've got no immediate work nor sleep to attend to. Unless you d-"

"No! Of course not." Roman interrupted. "I wouldn't make a plan I couldn't attend…"

Janus placed the book atop the short shelf, and looked to Roman.

"So, plan to indoctrinate me to the word of Jekyll and Hyde?" 

Roman laughed, a lovely, proud sound.

"I can only hope to."

~~~~~~

Rising into Roman's room was easy enough, but rising in _alongside_ Roman was a new experience. 

"Take a seat!" Roman waved his hand towards his couch, walking off to fiddle with a remote.

Janus stepped carefully, avoiding the minefield of papers and various odds and ends that covered Roman's floors. Sitting on the couch, he noticed it was far more plush than the one in Janus's corner. He found himself nearly sinking into it, and the abundance of throw pillows didn't offer much support either. 

Roman clicked around with the remote until he had brought the proshoot he had in mind up on the TV. Turning back to the couch, he swept up every pillow Janus wasn't already touching, and dropped them on the floor. As the overture played, Janus watched him set them up against the floor and couch, creating a seat of his own. If another side had asked, Janus would've called it childish. But truthfully, as he watched, he could only find it endearing.

As the show moved on, it captured Roman's attention entirely. Janus studied Roman's face. In the dim lighting, only the TV's light was bright enough to highlight his features. He took note of Roman's hair falling in front of his face whenever he moved, and the way he repeatedly swept a hand through his bangs to keep it at bay.

~~~~~~

Whenever Janus decided to move his gaze back to the show, he did truly enjoy it. The camerawork was impressive as Henry described his plan to test the formula on himself through song.

"Oh, because _that's_ a smarter idea?" Roman quipped aloud. Not a single song had passed without Roman or Janus chiming in with some sort of rebuttal.

( _"Giving a man that dramatic any amount of science-y stuff is just an accident waiting to happen."_ )

( _"Making out with the creepy misogynist? How romantic."_ )

( _"No shit it'd backfire! He's practically asking Mr. Hyde-and-seek over here to kill him!"_ )

From anyone else, Janus would've found this poking at the show insufferable. But recently, Roman seemed the exception to a lot of rules. And this once, he couldn't imagine having watched it without Roman.

~~~~~~

"This Utterson fella, he and Jekyll were totally a thing right?" Roman giggled, nudging Janus's leg slightly. 

Janus laughed, lightly kicking at Roman in return.

"Are you kidding? _Clearly!_ It's not all that subtle."

Roman's giggle continued. "Alright good, we're on the same page here."

When the shared laughter slowed down into shared smiles, they both returned attention to the show. Janus let his head drop back against the couch, more than content with the moment.

Janus tried to recall a time he'd felt quite this carefree, but nothing recent surfaced. He certainly hadn't felt this specific energy in years. The careless and electric time spent with someone he loved, the feeling of getting high on plain living. He turned his eyes down to Roman, watching the joyful grin on his lips, and his focused eyes on the screen ahead. 

The man was a work of art. Every swipe of a hand through his increasingly unkempt hair was a beauty on its own. Every individual smile was a sight to remember. 

Not much made sense to Janus in recent months. But somehow, the one thing he could make sense of was his love for the most complicated man in his life. He was a work of art that Janus hoped he could begin to understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah thanks for reading!! As always thanks to my partner for beta reading as well
> 
> Also go watch Jekyll and Hyde the musical, it slaps
> 
> Chapter title from What Will Happen Will Happen by Lemon Demon
> 
> Comments are super appreciated!! They help keep me motivated between chapters and mean a lot to me <3 <3
> 
> ___
> 
> December update?? Yikes.
> 
> surprise! not dead!! so. wow. Let me say now, ive had chapter 5 of this fic stashed away for months at this point. The plot is outlined, the first paragraphs written. I also have an outline for the next chapter or two, and therefore the ending of the fic. Turns out the thing keeping me back didnt end up being a loss of files or a big falling out with the fandom. I just lost focus?? lmao rip. My brain has moved on pretty heavily from only focusing on Sanders Sides, so building in time to sit down and get past my writers block on this one has been especially hard. Still though, I'm proud of this fic. Even if Sanders Sides and its shipping doesnt live in my brain as hard as it used to, I'd love to deliver the proper and quaint ending i've had planned since August. So fingers crossed that in the next few months, I'll be able to get chapter 5 to yall. And if you're reading this even after all this time, thanks. Means a lot <3


End file.
